Me first.

The flight attendant stands at the front of the plane, explaining the safety procedures, “… in the case of an in flight emergency, an oxygen mask will drop down from the cabin. First you must put the mask on yourself, before you begin assisting those next to you.” Another flight attendant demonstrates how to put on the mask.

Why me first?

“You are the most selfish and the most selfless person I have ever met.”

He looked at me, and explained, “You are the most selfish and the most selfless person I have ever met.” Which led me to think on what this meant, and was I doing something wrong. I constantly try to question my actions, because if you are not growing and improving – then you are shriveling away to failure.

Being called selfish certainly doesn’t feel like a compliment. It is an emotion based on survival, that got a bad reputation, causing guilt and insecurities. The biggest mistake is thinking that you have to either be for yourself, or for everyone else. The truth is, life is about a healthy balance of both. If we do not choose ourselves first, who will take care of us? How can we expect someone to take care of us? If you do not take care of others when they are in need, how can you hope that someone will take care of you when you are in need? It is a healthy balance of promoting self care and care for your community. You have to choose the right balance for you, there is no one size fits all.

In order for you to sustain your service to others, you must first take care of yourself.

True selfishness, that of which should hold the bad reputation, is when you begin asking others to live as you expect them to live. Telling others how to spend their time and energy to fit your needs. No one should control or manipulate or command your time and energy, and you should not command others.