It’s not me, it’s us.
You pick a companion to face the world together, not to have to face.
That’s why I think it is so important to find someone you are compatible and in sync with. If you date a partygoer and you’re a homebody – you will probably hit a lot of opposition, etc.
It doesn’t mean everything has to be aligned. You should just have an honest conversation with yourself about your’s and your partner’s compatibility.
Wanting or having the desire to be compatible and being compatible are two entirely different things.
There are A LOT of aspects of another human being to look at and compare yourself too. If you are opposites in a majority of those categories, prepare for a lot of opposition and tension in your relationship.
Only you will know if the relationship will work.
Love is deliberate. But if love is exhausting, then I would dare to say that it isn’t love.
Try to breakdown your Compatibility in these areas:
Lifestyle (partygoer, homebody, drinking (if yes, how often, how much), drugs, fitness, career oriented, travel, working class, students, military, retirement, beach/surfing, concert/music, artsy, introvert/extrovert, etc.)
Love language (Read the Five Love Languages book – Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service) [how you show love and how you receive love, compare both]
Career (current, ideal and the steps you are making to get there, work schedule of both current and ideal)
Place to live (current, ideal)
Types of food
Previous relationship(s) status (married, divorced, single, friends with ex, kids from relationship)
Types of sexuality/relationships (open, monogamous, view on porn, bdsm, vanilla, etc)
Education (current, ideal and the steps you are making to get there)
Desire for kids (if yes, when. If yes/no or when changes, how open are you to those answers)
Finances (current, ideal and the steps you are making to get there)
Current 1, 5, 10 year plans
Habits (good, bad, current, ideal)
Disclaimer: Again, just because you are opposite in some areas doesn’t mean it won’t work. It’s just important to be aware of your comparability with another person.