Just love me. 

Sometimes I just have to get these thoughts out of my head. At the moment I wrote this, they were thoughts that needed written down. I am sharing them in hopes that they will relate to someone here. We can be so desperate for love, even love from ourselves. 

I believe emotions are meant to be felt, even desperation. They are meant to wash over you, be experienced, and be released. When we feel ashamed of those emotions, ones like desperation that is so often frowned upon, it can consume us. 

So brought to you in my moment of desperation:

I wanted so bad for you to love me. Maybe my mistake was thinking there was only one way to love someone. (My way, of course)

I wanted to wake up in the morning in your arms. I wanted for you to lean over and kiss my forehead and tell me how beautiful I was to you. I wanted to sit up in bed and talk about our plans for the weekend, which mostly included being in each others company (sprinkled with some alone time here and there – I’m not a complete monster). 

I wanted to go downstairs and make a cup of coffee together, sit and laugh at the table. I wanted our day to go by full of laughter and happiness. 

I wanted so bad for you to love me. Maybe you did, in your own way. It just was not the way I understood love. I don’t think that means either of us were in the wrong. 

I don’t think it means we have to keep trying either. 

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About ashleekarin

Every Sunday I tried to post updates since I succeed in camping the doorstep of the world during a 110 day road trip around the USA; The Roadside Bears blog was then brought head first into the internet world (changed to ashleekarin.wordpress.com). Included are the details of our adventures and how we are doing, as well as tips on how we made a road trip around the USA happen. It’s important to pursue your dreams to the end, even if you end up with nothing. After all, you only have one life to live; go big or go home. Join me vicariously through this blog – AshleeKarin.wordpress.com – and experience the adventure of my life. Viewer discretion is advised, as you will most likely witness a very hungry person freezing as they sleep in their car. I will always be planning the next great adventure – so don’t miss out, subscribe to the blog today! XoxO (big kiss little hug little kiss big hug ), Ashlee Karin

Posted on October 30, 2016, in Home Front and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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