Monthly Archives: September 2016
I wrote a poem I guess:
When you think about hell, where does your mind go?
The burning inferno of emotions that lead you down a path. A path that lead you down another path.
Could you break away from this hell that you choose?
Consequences of choices you didn’t even realize you were making.
Yet you walked through a valley whose shadows reeked of death. Never once turning back.
When you think about hell, do you think that it’s a burden you carry with you everyday?
A mix between choices, both of your own and of others. Coincidences and actions and thoughts all buried into the subconscious hell that is your daily routine.
Does this mean that heaven is the escape from the ordinary? But heaven is for another time. At least, when you think about hell…
I wrote this blog and filled it with selfies so you can see my new hair. So yeah, you get beauty and brains. You’re welcome 😉
“Sometimes life checkmates your king”
Fear and love depend on each other to define their nature. Both Fear and Love are a state of being. Just like being frozen in fear, sometimes we find ourselves frozen in love. So consumed with the state of being in love, even when we know damn good and well it’s not good for us.
It is, simply put, the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object. When they encounter each other, either the force is stopped or the object is moved. Which you might say “well that is compromise”, but one does not simply compromise their whole identity.
I was the unstoppable force, and he was the immovable object. What we can find peace in, is that we were destined to meet.
Oh and the people we meet and how they shape us. Whether I made you smile, served you a meal, bossed you around set, shot with you, caused you to laugh or cry, moved you with my words, held your hand, broke your heart, or our lips met for a brief moment in time… It was destiny. You didn’t choose to meet me, or I you. We didn’t choose this moment, this moment chose us.
A million decisions lead you unknowingly to me and what a beautiful thing that is.
I found this written down on my notepad from June of 2015. It may have been advice to my future self:
A charming man is a dangerous man. They will charm you right out of your pants, and right into a broken heart.
While opening car doors is a nice gesture with the intent of displaying that he thinks of you first, a true gentlemen also thinks of you first. It is evident in how he talks to you and about you, your heart is his utmost pride to protect.
I know I’ve been quiet here lately. I was doing so good, scheduling a post for every Sunday. Then the last couple weeks or so (Okay, okay – 3 months) I just haven’t had anything to say.
I mean… I have things to say. Things I could talk about. But even those things, even things I would normally be passionate about, have not been able to spark even the slightest bit of fire in me.
I have been thinking a lot about love the last few days. Mostly that a relationship is not love. A relationship can build love, it can have love, it can show love, grow love. But a relationship is not love. So when a relationship ends, love does not always end with it.
I am sad today. For no reason and all the reasons. And I am happy that I am sad.
My heart wants to hurt. It would be so much better to feel something, anything. I keep falling into a dull numbness.