“I am just trying to figure out what you are passionate about?”
A friend of mine asked. It was a legitimate question; yet for some reason I found that I have no answer. I have things that I “do”, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that I was passionately doing those things. I remember feeling overwhelmed with passion once, but I have come to the realization that this passion was drained from me.
“There might have been prettier women in the room but, when she turned those babies on, fluttered her eyelashes, I was hers. It had taken me nearly fifteen years to extinguish their light. Now, when she looks at me, it’s a vacuum. I had drained so much from her over the course of our marriage that every glance rips a little bit of my soul away to fill the void I had whittled within her.” – Thomm Quackenbush
In my naivety, I reached for the knob and barely turned the faucet and opened myself up for a slow drain. Such a simple question, and I found myself unable to answer it. What AM I passionate about?
I wrote this over two years ago. I am so happy that I can say that this too will fade. The unhappiness you find, whether from work, life… a relationship… when you turn yourself away from what is not good, and face the light – you too will find that the passion will return.
It takes time, but I have slowly found a new me. A better me than before.
I will always have areas of my life that try to steal my happiness from me. It is my job to turn away from those negative emotions, and focus on a better, happier, healthier me.
I can do this. You can do this. We can do this! We are strong.